I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
bring money and cleavage
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
