I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's the barista slut.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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