Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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