This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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