if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
