New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
