Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
