shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
