so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i will never coherently bang her
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He has the fingertips of a God
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
