I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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