Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
