what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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