I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
