I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize