How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
