Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
