I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
FUCK WHALES
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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