Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
