Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
