I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
two words...techno handjob
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
