just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
