Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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