I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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