I'm lost and stupid without you.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
