where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Say something about gay babies.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
