So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
