At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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