Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
