oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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