oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
sex in a hospital.. check
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
