I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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