Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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