I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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