Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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