I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
