I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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