I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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