He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
