it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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