Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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