he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You need Xanax blowdarts
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
