that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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