dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
