I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
