I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
