ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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