he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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