One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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