Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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