u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize