i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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