Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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